Dear Lord

 Dear Lord, I was watching Hotel Rwanda last night. How black people rose against black people. Just for power. How the Tutsis (tall trees) were massacred leaving behind almost a million corpses. What I can't get off my mind though, is the part where Paul (the main actor) was thanking a white journalist for showing a footage of what was happening thinking it's the only way the world would intervene when they see the atrocities committed. All the journalist said was, "When people see this they are going to be like, Oh my God that's so horrible! And then go on and finish off their dinners."   You'll find us reaching for walking sticks on top shelves. Turning very blind eyes to the human trafficking, the xenophobic attacks, the injustice, the inhumane acts, the lack of morals and the indiscipline around us. Just because it's not my niece who went missing. Just because it's not my brother who was burnt alive with a tyre around his neck. Just because it

 Dear Lord,  1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without  ceasing. Father of all lights, the only immortal, eternal, invisible and wise God, to you be all the glory and honour. I stand in awe of the sacrifice you made, the greatest example of love. I thank you for the cross Jesus. Thank you that because of your blood I am forgiven, I am sanctified, I am justified and sin nolonger has a hold on me. Zincane izibongo zami. Somandla, I give you my mind, my soul, my heart, my all. Mould me into a vessel that will bring honour and glory to your name. May I walk before you and be holy, a woman that is after your very own heart. May your presence illuminate every part of my life. May I trust in you always and lean not on my own understanding. May your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth, in my life as it is in heaven. May you lead me not into temptation but deliver me from all evil. May your hand be with me always that I may be kept from evil, that it may not grieve me. May you bless me indeed and

 Dear Lord, “A child is a gift from God." I whisper with quivering lips. “A child is a gift from God." I whisper as I stare at the picture of the little human, being fashioned in my womb. “A child is a gift from God." I whisper as I shred the picture of the scan to bite sized pieces. I swear it does not feel anything close to being a blessing. It feels like a hot slap from karma. For the days I gave my father the cold stare as he held the door open for me disapprovingly in the ams. For the days I wouldn't listen to his counsel about the power of choices. For indulging in unprotected sex before marriage. For the days I thought I knew better. For actively being part of a perverse and crooked generation. Standing for nothing. Falling for everything. It's just one pint. It's just one night. It's just one round.  And now it's just one baby. “A child is a gift from God.” I whisper as I sob quietly and try to focus on breathing. I have been avoiding all silv