Nothing to hold.

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 Dear Lord,

I worry about her aging all alone. I wonder how it feels like to fall so deep in love and then watch it fade. I worry about her trying to grab hold of the violent wind. Only to sleep at night with nothing to hold. No one to hold her. No one to share her hopes with. No one to share her fears with. No one to share her dreams with. Does she still dream? I worry about her telling her daughter that if she was given a time machine she would go back in time and not get married. How will her baby girl confidently walk down the aisle not knowing what awaits beyond the ‘I dos’? How will her baby girl confidently walk down the aisle when all she knows are broken hearts and a cold home beyond the ‘I dos’? How will her baby girl stop looking for reason not to walk down the aisle in fear of history repeating itself through her beyond the ‘I dos’? How will her baby girl receive a love she's never seen being given beyond the ‘I dos’? I worry about her watching her sons grow into the man who disappointed her. I see the pain in her eyes everytime she tries to reason with them about this journey. She opens her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. I worry about her praying for the man who was supposed to love her till death do them part to change only to see her prayers not being answered. I worry about her faith. Does she still believe in miracles? I don't. Has she ever believed in miracles? I did. 

Proverbs 31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

I worry about her worry about us. I worry about us not living up so she gets to see us at the top.  I worry about her wishing she could do more to help her children but knowing well she cannot. Not because she cannot. But because she is trying so hard to be a good wife. Because Paul. Submit to your husband. Because Solomon. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Because she is trying so hard to keep sane. I wonder what she thanks you for every time she kneels down to pray. Patience? As the sun comes out till it goes down? Strength? As she endures all the trials? Life? Love? Laughter? Your word says you have a good plan for our lives. Is this hers? Or did she miss something along the way? I worry about her well being. Is she happy? Is she at peace with how life turned out? I can only hope and pray she is. Lord bless her heart. You say in your word that we shouldn't worry about a thing. I pray that you help us seek your kingdom. It is only there that we're at peace. At peace with what is. At peace with what was. It is only there that we're content. Content with where we at. Thank you for your grace that is sufficient for us. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning, in Jesus's name,

Amen.

                                             Matthew 6:27,33-34

[27]Who of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?[33]But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. [34]Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

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