Dear Lord

  She said, “If you were to come face to face with God, and could ask only one question, what would it be?" I laughed. “Just one?" I couldn't bring myself to answer her because I couldn't choose. Just one?!  Dear Lord,  There is so much I want to know. Like how was life like for you before you created heaven and earth? Why did you put the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the garden of Eden? Can all the angels change their form like Lucifer did? Turning into a talking serpent? Why did you choose to curse your creation when you could have easily given them a second chance? Wasn't cursing the ground so it brings forth thorns and thistles going a little too far for a people that you love? Why did you drive them out of the garden and keep them away from the tree of life? Knowing how painful it is to lose a loved one? I've read about the shadow of death. Does death have a form? How did you feel when the people from Noah's time were drowning from the flo...

 Dear Lord, Here I am sitting on a toilet seat swiping through my gallery. I find myself staring at a picture of the sun set. I can't help but wonder how you paint the sky!? It is so beautiful. I swipe left and nineteen year old me appears. She is smiling with her head plaited with cornrows tilted to the right a bit. A habit I haven't outgrown. She is in her white shirt tucked into a navy blue pleated skirt. She has her tie neatly in place and a blazer over that. She's wearing white ankle socks and black school shoes. Clean. I can tell she didn't know what to do with her hands from the way she is standing. She is standing infront of a brown brick building. The science laboratories block, if my memory serves me right. She looks beautiful. She looks at peace. She looks content. I press the power button and put my phone in the pocket of my hoodie. I flush the toilet and quickly walk out trying by all means to avoid any questioning stares. You know the what were you doing f...

 Dear Lord, He is the ultimate expression and extension of all the elements that make up the universe. Fire. Air. Earth. Water. A feel of his fingers exploring my body lights it aflame. Setting little fires in places I never knew could burn. Quiet crackles reminding me of that my constant state of smouldering can be turned into seven seconds of wild firecrackers. He is fire. Him pulling me close, making me forget how to breath. An action that comes so natural to me. Gravity's pull suddenly feels like a push. Allowing me to float into the sky. Gently drifting into the clouds. Knocking on Heaven's door. Breath in. Hold it. Breath out. He is air. A feel of him becoming one with me. Intertwining our fingers as we dig deep to find the treasures buried deep within. To tap into the core of who we are. Molten rock. Turned dust. Turned flesh. He is earth. I dance with him to the point of no return. I dance with him to the point where the sea meets the sky. The climax. He got me surfing ...

 Dear Lord, I'm not sure if not saying my truth in fear of hurting the next person even if they drag me to hell's gate makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if writing my feelings and not being able to say them out loud makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if me choosing to uphold relationships despite my hurt makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if crying it out before facing my demons makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if taking all the bullshit thrown at me and always choosing to be the bigger person makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if pouring into other people's cups even if mine is running almost on empty is stupid or not. I'm not sure if me loving the way I do after being let down so many times makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if me trusting him with my life makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if me believing people will wake up some day and decide to stop being selfish makes me stupid or not. I'm not sure if me believing ...

 Dear Lord, I know that what I choose to stand for today will give me an identity tomorrow and sustain me in the future. I realise that if I don't stand for anything I'll surely fall for everything. I know if I stand in your word I cannot stand with the world. I pray that you help me stand for purity as a young person living in a crooked and perverse generation. Help me stand for the truth, the whole truth and nothing else but the truth, for I know only it will set me free. Help me stand for peace that comes from you and surpasses all understanding. May I stand for integrity like Job until God is proud of me.   “Prayer is man’s greatest power.” W. Clement Stone May I stand for righteousness without which no man can see God. Help me stand for excellency for I am not an ordinary child, I have been called to do great and mighty things. Help me stand for the justice of the poor and the afflicted just like Solomon. Help me to stand on my knees. It's only then that I'm able t...

 Dear Lord,  I have been sitting here marvelling at the beauty of the son. His head and hair white like wool. As white as snow. His eyes as a flame of fire. His feet like fine brass. As if they burned in a furnace. His voice as the sound of many waters. His countenance as the sun as it shines in its strength. He sits on your right hand. On a throne surrounded by a rainbow in sight like unto an emerald. Reigning as Lord, to the glory of God the Father. I am closely watching him extend his hand to me. Marks of where the nails pierced his hands on the day he hung on the cross and was left there to die, visible. Screaming of my forgiven sins. Screaming of an overwhelming love. Screaming of an eternal life of bliss. Worshipping at your feet. Singing holy, holy, holy. “My beloved.” he says to me, “Rise up, my love, my fair one and dance with me.” My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. What I still don't understand is why a King would choose...

 Dear Lord, I haven't cried this much for a long while now. Nose blocked. Gasping for air. Pillow dripping wet. Feel like throwing up. Head pounding kind of sobbing. Lord, I have been having a terrible time. I didn't even know how to say it in a prayer. I didn't even know how to sing it in a song. I didn't even know how to write it in a journal. Because thinking about it makes me sick all over again. Because thinking about it makes me feel all alone. Because thinking about it makes me build my walls higher. Because thinking about it makes me question you. I have been struggling to accept that people see the world using different sets of eyes. Or choose not to look but to carry the longest walking canes. I have been struggling to accept that if I find myself associating with friends with questionable habits and behaviors maybe I need to do a self-assessment on who I am. On what I stand for. On where I am headed. I have been struggling to accept that the people I love th...